Every Halloween, those of us who are fortunate enough to have been able to celebrate it, harken back to days of trying not to get too much spirit gum in your hair, and making sure you find the largest pillowcase in the house (because Laffy Taffy and Zagnuts not only weigh quite a bit, they are girthy). This year, we thought maybe we would take a break from the standard Hannah Barbera and Aaron Spelling themes, and be kind of politically incorrect. So we've decided to go with the old Geisha/Samurai In His Japanese Smoking Jacket motif. Considering I'm a bit too fat to be a Geisha anymore, I figure I should probably be the Samurai. Although, with my bone structure, there are more than a few drunken male patrons (and politically spoken…even some female patrons) who still might want to take me to dinner. But I digress. Mind you, it is not the prospective collection of goodies that maintains my juvenile attraction for Halloween. It is both the vibe of the supernatural, and the opportunity for me to use the overabundance of pancake base make-up that we purchased for our involvement in the musical recently. Speaking of overabundance, I am curious as to what our current president will be handing out at the front door of all four of his homes around the country on October 31st. To be fair, it's probably the same thing that the Trumps will be distributing at all four of their residences - commemorative golf balls with campaign phrase parodies...like: "Spare Change You Can't Believe In" and "Make America Hate Again". The trouble is, both phrases apply to both presidents, so you really won't know which house gave you which ball. I know, I know… One ball goes to the right and the other one goes to the left. Har De Har De Har. Save Some Of That Cover For Me - SJ :)

Contrary to conventional delusion, big decisions don’t always have to coincide with January 1st. Because they come in all shapes and sizes, I like to declare Fiscal New Year’s Resolutions. However, unfortunately for me these days, the shape is more circular, and the size is apparently 100% XXL. You know, I remember not too long ago when the word “fat“ meant “cool“ and “solid“. And suddenly, one day you wake up, and the term has turned into something all warm and steamy, and too big to manage with one hand. Especially in this economy. Anyway, in the coming weeks, as I'm supposed to administer a 'Fiscal Year's Resolution', I figured on trying to return to some semblance of what I’m supposed to be...as nebulous as that sounds. Whatever it is, I can say it definitely will include flossing. And speaking of tedious dental maintenance, said resolution will also involve the engineering and production of some new tracks...No..No..Really. On top of that, here’s hoping they are met with the same acclaim and accolades that the previous batch enjoyed - - Which would be two thumbs up, and a letter of praise from my fifth grade teacher, Miss Turner. Well, you know what "they"* say (*The ones who still have their wisdom teeth)...If You're Weak When You're Ten, Try Not To Peak When You're Ten...Just Relax - SJ :)