Views And News: "Escorted Me Away From The Ball Game - And Don't Let The Abyss Hit Me"

September - October - November - December 2025

I just realized, though I might be a demanding individual at times, it's still can't be me. For years now, I have been both a musician (of sorts), and a Chicago sports fan. But I have finally decided something. I've decided to fire the Chicago White Sox. I mean let's face it, the prevailing ideology in American industry is to terminate an employee that can't seem to find say...Illinois on a map of Chicago...within the first say..six months on the job. Now call me an unyielding conservative, but If you can't do a job in this country over the course of say...100 years or so - that maybe you should think of finding another line of work? I have heard this phrase since I was a young lad -- these three words that have left a lifetime imprint on my sports psyche..."White Sox Suck". But see now that phrase never really applied....Really. It's far too weak a definition for such abject poverty. To say that the Sox suck, is to call an exploded nuclear warhead a seasonably warm dry sort of heat. "White Sox Suck"...Right. The Sox are not even in the same conversation with other fully vested suck-ridden teams. On the level of suck hood, where other teams like the Royals, Athletics, or this year's historically sucky Colorado Rockies are your run-of-the-mill vacuums like Hoover, Oreck, and Electrolux. I move that, over the course of sports history, the White Sox aren't even worthy of being the top-of-the-line Dysan. No, the Sox are the small-appliance equivalent of a giant black hole vortex in the sports universe...in which nothing can seemingly escape. Except of course, for maybe three fieldable ground balls in the bottom of the most recent extra inning disaster. By the way, my astrophysical theory is that, on the other end of that vortex...clear on the other side of space...is the Cubs black hole - somehow finding a way to suck in the other (or same) direction. Anyway, as I begin to travel some uncharted musical territory today, I will actually take with me some degree of optimism from all of this sporting depravity. I figure, if there are still patrons who want to watch (and for that matter...cheer for) this perpetual athletic underachievement, there has to be hope for me to find some music fans with questionable standards. Ones that will actually want (?) to listen to my original material. At the very least...maybe just those aerudite music listeners walking out of the dispensaries, with nothing better to do. Incidentally, I'd love to fire the Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks too. But then that would be hypocritical of me, not to fairly give them all another 100 years or so to show some progress. Yeah - Sometimes If You're Slowing Up, You Ain't Growing Up.- SJ :)